Bitty E saw two logo’ed pens from our church in the center console of my car.

“Mom, did you take those from the church?”

{I have this weird thing where I’m trying not to lie to her. Like, ever. It’s a serious pain in my neck and I want to throw it off a bridge. Most of the time I can get away with a side step or a little jig, but not this time…I haven’t had enough law school to dance around that one…mostly because I’ve had less law school than Mike Ross…}

“Yes, I did.”

“Well, then you should return them. It’s not nice to take things without asking.”

{I mean, who’s teaching her this stuff? Is it me? Is it the kindergarten teacher? Is it that warm fuzzy lady who reads to all the kindergarteners before school? Cause I mean…}

{Let’s just say: if you need someone to drive the getaway car–DON’T ASK BITTY E.}

Conveniently, we were in the church parking lot, so CONVENIENTLY, we were able to march ourselves right up to the church receptionist and return those pens. She {of course} told bitty E she would return them straight to our pastor. I am praying that she did, because then I can begin a list of the people who are starting to understand what we’re dealing with here, because two people makes a list:

1. kindergarten teacher
2. pastor

This is not what I got on here to write about.

Hey, guess what? That little passion project I’ve been working on is now live. It’s the companion site for our study Engaging Motherhood, Heart Preparation for a Holy Calling. The site is for mamas of all ages and stages, and if you’re not one–no big deal–but would you just tell one you know about us? The site is www.engagingmotherhood.com and all the content/articles/Monday morning email offerings are totally free. I still have some work to do on it, but man does it feel good to have the hulk of it behind me. I’m so proud of the words the contributors have written on those digital pages…no lists, no try-harders, no formulas…just grace for the hard days of mothering. I hope you enjoy.

*

In gardening news I’m very sad to report that the little pumpkin who could no longer can.

RIP, most protected pumpkin plant ever.

A friend told me to surround it with eggshells and coffee grounds. I took the shells of about three dozen eggs out there over the course of two weeks. But I think we both underestimated the rabidness of the rabbits.

I know I shouldn’t be so sad about this as it’s not really a problem compared to the problems of the world, or say, my actual problem that I will one day have to explain to the bitties how I know so many Wiz Khalifa lyrics…but still. I’m bummed about it. I really was hoping for a home-grown pumpkin this year.

Which leads to my favorite gardening-ism: there’s always next year. It’s also probably the best thing about gardening. I get to wipe this hot mess of a slate clean and start over again next year.

Yep. There’s always next year.

I really should write that down. If only I had a pen…

I dropped bitty E off at school and bitty G off for her first day of preschool, drove home, fixed some breakfast, went to drop the tea bag into the mug and…

*sigh of realization*

I made it.

You know, summer was great. It really was. And guess who’s got two thumbs and wants to look back and remember that yes, there were some long days, but it was good. Memory-filled. Restful. Mostly pleasant. Stay away, Negative Nancy, there’s a new American Girl doll in town.

{Wouldn’t that be amazing if there actually was an American Girl doll named Negative Nancy?? Nancy likes homework, wet socks, and lightning at water parks. She can’t stand puppets and getting to know you games. Maybe they could MODEL HER AFTER ME. We might actually buy an American Girl doll! HOW DID I GET HERE.}

It’s been a little quiet around ye olde garden blog for all the reasons:

#1. I got the cooties. I don’t know if the shot didn’t cover the strain I contracted or what… But from this point forward, my new question will be, “circle circle, dot dot, how effective is this cootie shot?” When I told a friend I had strep she asked if the bitties had it. I {thankfully} replied no, and she said, “those little carriers…” It was almost two weeks ago when she said that…and I’m still looking at them and thinking “those little carriers…” It’s okay. Time wounds all heals.

#2. I’ve been working on my Malibu Barbie tan. I have priorities. So far I’m ranging somewhere in the 0.2-0.4% range, but still, progress. Trending upward.

#c. The garden is what I believe the kids these days would call a hot mess. Imagine Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton as preschool teachers after two Vegas all-nighters trying to get some four year olds to line up and keep their hands to themselves. Why do I all of the sudden want to call the preschool and check on Bitty G. Anyway, it’s tear out time, and I’ve been doing a little, slowly but surely.

#4. The real reason: I’m building a companion site for our mom’s study, Engaging Motherhood, Heart Preparation for a Holy Calling. I’m pretty jazzed about it, but I have been in full on code mode. But anytime I can feel like my pretend alter-ego, Cameron, from Halt and Catch Fire…WELL.

Get ’em, girl. You run this.

I’ll put something about it up here when the site is live. Hopefully that will happen within the next couple of weeks.

So, til next time, I’ll leave you with a note that came home from kindergarten:

“It must be exhausting for bitty E to have to mother everyone all the time.”

Oh, kindergarten teacher, are you trying to ensure that I buy you all your favorite snacks and drinks every day of this school year, because, well: I’ve never felt so understood by someone in my entire life. YOU GET ME, kindergarten teacher…you see the battle, you know the stakes…YOU GET ME. XO, kindergarten teacher, forever and always. Signed, the one who has to remind bitty E every day that she is the actual mother.